Sun flare destroys local park, Susan Eder

Sun flare destroys local park
by Susan Eder
March 29, 2010

Edmonton was hit with a blast of destructive pure energy Monday, March 19, 2010 when a piece of the sun broke off and landed in William Hawrelak Park in Edmonton destroying all flora and fauna in the area.

"We have been warning about this event for some time now," said Astrologer Adam Graham in response to this unusual event that happened just after midnight.

"It's not that a piece of the sun broke off, that happens all the time, it's called a solar flare, what is remarkable is that a piece of the sun actually made it to the earth," said Graham.

It is estimated that in 5 billion years there won't be any oxygen in the sun to keep it burning.

Hawrelak Park, located in Central Edmonton is a vast 130 ha. Gone are the trees, the plants, the flowers, the grass, the ponds, the birds and all other biota. Even the wooden picnic benches, tables and outbuildings are gone.

Local conservation officers are looking into bringing in replacement plants and buildings from nearby parks. "It's just a matter of transplanting and relocating. With the right chemicals and a lot of luck we should have the park green again before the end of summer," said Officer Gordon Brown.

Graham assures the public that this is "indeed a very rare occurrence," the likely hood that this will happen again is very, very small.

However, local resident Chelsey Smith, whose backyard boarders the park isn't convinced. "If it happened once, it will happen again, there really is no safe place for us anymore."

The world just may not be the same as it was, but not in our lifetime, said Graham.

THE SURROUNDING AREA - EDMONTON

The City of Edmonton is the capital of Alberta. It is located 294 km (183 miles) north of Calgary, in the centre of the province. The city is located on the North Saskatchewan River. The area has some of the most fertile farmland in the province. Edmonton is the second largest city in Alberta and the sixth largest metropolitan city in Canada with a population of almost 800,000 people.

Late in the 1700s the Hudson Bay Company set up a trading post to trade furs with the local people. But trade really took off with the discovery of crude oil in the Leduc area. Edmonton became incorporated in 1904.

Edmonton is known for its beautiful scenic river valley. The capital has a vast art and entertainment culture as well as numerous parks. Visitors can shop, play, eat, sleep, and relax in the capital.

SOME OF THE ATTRACTIONS IN EDMONTON INCLUDE:

• West Edmonton Mall
• The Edmonton Indy
• Muttart Conservatory
• Alberta Legislature Building
• Whitemud Equine Centre
• High Level Bridge and Streetcar
• Ukrainian Cultural Heritage Village

SOME OF THE PARKS IN THE EDMONTON AREA INCLUDE:

• Williams Hawrelak Park
• Fort Edmonton Park
• Rundle Park
• Kinsmen Park
• Gallagher Park
• Larkspur Park
• Borden Park
  
Top image courtesy of The Inconvenient Truth of Sun Flares
Bottom image courtesy of francolca.ca/pics

The article is factitious and not to be taken seriously.

Note: The three words in red had their spelling corrected on April 16 2010.

Spilt drink leads to assault at restaurant, Nancy Gordy

Two men were sent to hospital after a fight broke out over a drink that was spilled at a south side restaurant Saturday night, police said.

Kale Trenton and Mike Holloway were rushed to hospital with severe injuries after being assaulted by an unidentified man who reacted when a drink was accidentally spilt on him in the lounge area of the Milestones restaurant in South Edmonton Common on Saturday around 9:45 p.m.

"The guy just got extremely angry that a drink had been spilt on him," Sarah Haynes, a witness to the fight, said. "He flipped the nearest table in anger before he went after the two guys he seemed to think were to blame."

Smashes bottle over head

After the man flipped a nearby table, he went up to Trenton and Holloway and began punching them, police said. He then picked up a bottle off the counter and smashed it over the head of Holloway. He began flailing the broken bottle around and it made contact with Trenton's face. He continued to assault the two until customers began to intervene, police said.

"The man seemed crazed," Steve Omnoluk, the bartender at the time, said. "Anyone that can fight two full grown men on their own is pretty scary to me."

Omnoluk made the call to police while the incident was progressing. Once the police arrived on scene, the man began to deny having anything to do with the assault even though he had physical evidence on himself, police said.

Alcohol a factor

"Trenton and Holloway did tell us that one of them accidentally elbowed a drink causing it to spill into the man's lap," police said. "However, that doesn't give anyone a reason to assault somebody."

The unidentified man has been charged with assault and Trenton and Holloway are expected to make a full recovery.

Police say alcohol was a factor.


South Edmonton Common, Edmonton, Alberta:























South Edmonton Common is a large shopping centre located on 23rd Avenue and Gateway Boulevard in Edmonton, Alberta. It contains over 100 stores as the largest open-air retail development in North America.

Within the centre there are several restaurants. There has never been any previous disturbances in any of them.

The city of Edmonton has many bars and nightclubs situated throughout. There have been several bar fight incidents in the past at various hot spots around the city including:

• Gingur Sky Lounge (118 Avenue and 155 Street)
• Iron Horse (81 Street and Gateway Boulevard)
• The Union (62 Avenue and 99 Street)
• The Bank Ultra Lounge (107 Street and Jasper Avenue)
• Fluid Lounge (108 Street and Jasper Avenue)

Whyte Avenue and Jasper Avenue contain some of Edmonton's best nightlife and entertainment. With an array of cafes and shops along both Avenues, they have become popular places for citizens and tourists. When day turns to night however, Jasper Avenue and Whyte Avenue turn into a place that party goers flock too.

There are police that patrol both Avenues, and security checks are done at some of the bars and nightclubs.

When security checks are done, any weapons found will be confiscated. Bartenders are also able to refuse service to those that appear to be too intoxicated.

Related Links:
Edmonton Police Service
Feb.22/09 Edmonton bar stabbing
Aug.16/09 Edmonton bar stabbing
Arizona says yes to guns in bars


Note: Top image from ♠ esproductions.ca ♠ on flickr.
Note: Bottom image from CarEnvy.ca

"Chuck And Steven Destroy West Edmonton Mall" Store, Isaac Kaplyuk

Image courtesy of teamsugar.com

Edmonton Police are seeking famed actors and martial artists Steven Seagal and Chuck Norris after two men destroyed a clothing store in West Edmonton Mall on Sunday as a fight broke out between the men over a pink t-shirt.

The mayhem descended upon an Aeropostale store in West Edmonton Mall after Norris and Seagal were seen noticing each other try on the same pink t-shirt, said a terrified employee. The employee wished to not be named.

"I just saw Chuck and Steven walk out of the dressing room and noticed each other wearing the same pink shirt, and they both just weren't going to have any of that," said the employee."Roundhouse kicks and backhand slaps ensued, and I was absolutely terrified. I had never up until now witnessed such awesome power."

The store was completely destroyed by the pair, leaving behind hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of damage. Although the two men fought, both made an immediate escape after the blows were exchanged.

Aeropostale store manager Sketch Ergotron said everything happened too fast to really understand what happened.

"Some vicious roundhouse kicks and slaps were exchanged, and then the two got out of here as if they weren't here at all," said Ergotron. "It was all over so fast."

Nobody else was harmed during the the fight, and the store will likely remain closed for some time due to the damage caused, Police said.

Police have been unable to apprehend or locate the suspects, and urge the public to stay away from the either Norris or Seagal if at all possible.




Edmonton is a city that was incorporated as such in 1904, but first established in 1795. It currently has a population close to that of 800 thousand people, as of a 2009 civic census.
West Edmonton Mall was built in 1981 and remained the world's largest mall until 2004. In it are over 800 stores and services, and it employs over 23, 000 people. It garners about 28.2 million visitors a year, and despite no longer being the largest mall in the world, is still the largest mall in North America.

Aeropostale is a mainstream retail clothing line/store geared towards the teenage and up demographic that began in 1987 in America, and expanded into Canada in 2007, with its first store opening in White Oaks Mall, in London, Ontario. The Aeropostale location in the West Edmonton Mall was opened nearly two years ago, and has since become one of the most popular Aeropostale locations in Canada.

With West Edmonton Mall being a hotspot for shopping, entertainment and tourism, it is not strange to see celebrities among the millions of people who visit yearly visiting the mall and its many stores.

*Picture of Aeropostale from West Edmonton Mall courtesy of hallbergengineering.com