"Man charged with first-degree murder of police chief,"Matt White

Warning: The following is a completely fictitious article.

A man has been charged for allegedly shooting and killing an Edmonton police chief during an altercation at a local mall Friday.

Ralph Wiggum, 45, has been charged with first-degree murder after a man fatally shot Police Chief Dan West during a foot-pursuit through the Phase one hallways of West Edmonton Mall.

"He just started shooting," said witness Timothy Lovejoy. "He didn't care who or what he hit. You could tell he was out for blood."

According to police, the incident began as a simple case of mistaken identity.

Wiggum was walking through the ladies underwear section of Zellers when he was mistakenly taken for a local transvestite known as "juggles."

"I went up and asked him for an autograph," said a man who requested to be identified only as Smithers. "After I explained who I thought he was, he erupted and started to smash things, and threaten people. It was really scary, but kind of sexy too."

When police arrived on the scene, Wiggum allegedly pulled out a pistol and began to fire widely into the air said Const. Miller.

"He fired three shots into the ceiling and one shot into the floor," said Miller. "At that point we had no choice but to draw weapons of our own."

The moment police drew their weapons, Wiggum ran out of the store and raced frantically for the nearest exit.

As police gave chase, Wiggum allegedly blindly fired the remainder of his clip, killing West and destroying a fish tank in the process.

"At that point we had no other option but to bring him down," said Miller.

Wiggum was shot 17 times by multiple officers before he finally fell to the ground. He was quickly transferred to the Royal Alexandra Hospital just in time to be stabilized.

Wiggum is scheduled to appear in court on Friday, April 30, 2010.

Images by Vlastula and CanadaGood on flickr

West Edmonton Mall is North America's largest shopping centre, and before 2004, it was the world's largest. It is located at 8882 170 Street Northwest in Edmonton, AB. West Edmonton Mall was founded by the Ghermezian brothers and currently receives an average of 28 million visitors a year. The mall has over 800 stores that sell everything from swim wear to sex-toys. The mall has multiple food courts, mini-golf, an amusement park, a water park, a shooting range, a pirate ship, a dragon, animals of all sorts, and countless other attractions that make it such a special place.

The Royal Alexandra Hospital is located in the heart of Edmonton at 10240 Kingsway Avenue. This particular hospital is one of Capital Health's largest. The hospital has roughly 678 beds, treats about 450,000 patients annually, and employs over 4800 people. The hospital is on the cutting edge of surgery with more than 28,000 surgical produces performed annually and is leading the way for minimal invasive procedures. The hospital also provides the opportunity for learning with strong connections to the University of Alberta Departments of Ophthalmology, Obstetrics and Gynecology, and Family Medicine. Lastly, the Cardiac Services program run by the hospital is nationally recognized for its innovative work in the non-urgent treatment of heart disease.